that vision thang

The medical field blows big chunks, man.

I have been having hearing issues for over a month now. Can't hear right, constantly have to ask students to repeat themselves and be louder; horrible tinnitus, like I've been to a Metallica concert; and this pressure in my ear, like an ear infection, but pressing in, not out. It's been driving me crazy. This is the third time its happened, but this is the first time I've been able to get an ENT appointment anywhere near the time I'm having symptoms. I only managed this appointment because I am going to a new ENT, recommended by my rheumatologist because he deals with autoimmune disorders of the ear, which is what my primary and rheumy think it might be.
Well, I went to my appointment this morning with the specialist ENT. The good news is, I don't have any autoimmune disorders of the ear. (Not that he looked at my blood work, or asked any details about my arthritis or fibro.) Other good news is that I have excellent hearing. Above average.

So he has no idea why I feel like I can't hear right. Unless I had above-above average hearing before, so I notice a loss but am still within what is considered the normal range. Despite the fact that this has happened three times in the past two to three years, and my hearing eventually returns to the same level. Essentially, I'm crazy.

Since he really can't explain it, I have come up with my own theory, based on my years of experience with my own body and how it works. I do have the beginning stages of autoimmune disorder, but my excellent hearing makes it impossible to tell yet. My primary thought for years I had some autoimmune issue going on, based on symptoms I had, but couldn't find one with testing until after I had my first daughter. Even then, it was my symptoms, not my blood work, that showed it was autoimmune. I barely register above normal on blood tests, yet I damn well know its there.

And my sinuses still look like crap and are swollen and nasty. Of course, since I had that stupid surgery to fix 'em, they dont' look normal to begin with. But that could help explain the pressure that I feel in my ear, which is not an infection and is not caused by any part of the ear that is visible. So I have to take a round of Prednisone (a steroid), which I avoid taking at all costs on a usual basis. Its common to take for both asthma and rheumatoid arthritis. The last time I took it willingly was as part of the diagnosis process for the arthritis. It makes me the evilest, most cranky person in the word. (According to the PDR, one possible side effect is psychotic episodes, so you can see why I might not want to take it.) Plus my fat ass gets fatter. Prednisone makes me feel hungry all the time, seriously hungry, and I always gain five or so pounds when I'm on it. It makes me feel bloated and uncomfortable, no matter what clothes I wear.

So let me apologize in advance for being a bitch and miserable.

I also need to use this super antibiotic sinus wash that I tried to get before, but Walgreen's and most regular pharmacies don't carry. I had to wait an hour at the hospital pharmacy to get it, and I'm not sure where I'll get it refilled (the hospital is a little far from my house to go for a prescription.)

I have decided that I need to go back to the allergist, and get tested for food allergies. I tested positive for eggs, wheat, and milk when I was younger; I don't remember what other foods. (I do remember cats, dogs, dust mites, roaches, and all kinds of trees and pollens.) Then, once I know what I am allergic to, I need to start cutting it out of my diet. This won't happen over night. I won't give up everything that I like. But this isn't a fad, this is something that I need to try, for my health. My sinuses are linked to my allergies. Surgery made them a little better, mostly fixing the deviated septum, but didn't fix the basic problem-- that I'm allergic to the freakin' world.

I am also going to have to start back on time-consuming and uncomfortable allergy shots. I've done this three times as an adult (and I don't remember how many years as a child, just how much I hated it) and have yet to be able to get to a maintenance dose. A maintenance dose is a shot once a month, instead of every week. Every time I've done this, I've had horrible reactions. Not anaphylaxis (had that once as a child to shots) but big, hard, painful welts that itch like the devil and require Benedryl to keep them under control (which means I need to sleep.) I've been to three allergists, too. The last one was great, but so far from my house that is was just too difficult to get there with working full time and dealing with my arthritis and my daughter, etc. But with him, I went from two shots (to cover all my allergies) to four. I need to get my records and find someone closer. SIGH. Yet another specialist to add to my list...

This isn't going to be easy.

But I have to do it.

Current Mood: cranky

Why, oh why, do I listen to doctors? Shouldn't the woman with seven major conditions and as many specialists on speed dial know better?

SIGH.

Five hours in the emergency room last night. Waited to go until dance class was over and the kids were in bed. Poor Hubby-- who didn't really sleep the night before-- waited up for me.  Three hours sleep before hauling my pained and exhausted ass back into school to teach from my desk, using movies. Five periods, five kids falling asleep, and five assigned detentions (for tomorrow) later, I left school early with no guilt (for a change.)

I had a pain in my calf yesterday. The pain was different from the usual RA/Fibro pain. It was like a muscle cramp ache with out the cramp. And it wouldn't go away, and kept getting worse. I was bothered enough that I went to the school nurse, who I've ASKED people to keep away from if I should be unconscious and in need of medical aid. She said call my doctor. Duh. Called the primary, because the specialists were all gone for the day. His receptionist called back two hours later, said ti sounded like a blood clot, and told me to go to the emergency room.

I really considered not going. I listen to the doctor, get aggravated, and its never anything. Case in point-- the unresolved pneumonia spot on my lung from almost four years ago. (I went for 6 month CAT scans and checkups for two years before I refused to inconvenience myself anymore or spend any more money on co-pays.) Or the allergist, who gave me four shots once a week; made me completely allergy proof my house, aside from the cat confined to the basement (which he insisted I get rid of, but I was too soft to do so), a treatment plan that didn't even last out the month of September because my schedule is too hectic to spend two hours in a doctor's office plus traveling to it once a week.  If it is something, its always just something annoying I have to live with. Like the lump I found last year, and had to take a day off from work to get a mammogram, which turned to be a huge but normal cyst.

Plus, I'm switching anxiety meds; RA meds; muscle relaxer dosages. It could be any of those things, too.

I am nothing, however,  if not responsible. I have a husband and two children. If I were my children, and I (the mom) threw a blood clot and died because I (the mom) didn't listen to the doctor, I (the children) would be mad at me (the mom)  forever, dead or not. I did this for them and Hubby. I knew I had to. I knew I should. Still, it took some butt kicking (and scary links e-mailed) from B to nudge me into it.

At first, it looked like I might beat the Monday evening rush (every Monday I have had to go to the ER, it's been packed) and get fast tracked. A half-hour there, and the doppler/ultrasound thingee was done. The tech, when prodded, said no clot, definitely. Then back to the waiting room, to listen to white trash teenage baby-mommies order around retarded brothers and explain how she's been in here three times in five months because the hospital doesn't take good care of the baby-- the hospital she is sitting in. (No wonder no one was running to help her out when the kid puked on her.) To listen to kids retching into bowls and looking heart-breakingly pathetic. Bad re-run sitcoms, stuck in a wheel chair, the ex-Navy nurse mumbling very badly at me every time (3, after the initial triage, I might add) he checked my vitals. At one point, my blood pressure reading was 145 over something again. (Can't imagine why. I had just found out that there were still NINE people ahead of me, after having been there for four hours already.) Then the pressure miraculously went back down to something close to normal.

At any rate, here I am drudging through life exhausted and absent-minded and just spent. I didn't bring anything home to to do for school-- despite stacks of papers all over my desk today (one of the reasons on the list of why I couldn't call out, after the Flowers' Pajama Party at Pre-K/Daycare.)

Hopefully some muscle relaxers and an early bedtime tonight (sometime close to the kids', after I get a little bit of writing done) will help me be a wee bit more patient tomorrow. I can't tell if it's the drop in anxiety meds, the pain/fatigue, or just the students themselves, but my tolerance for senioritis is at an all-time low.

I need to count just how many more class days we have until graduation.

Current Mood: cranky