that vision thang - FIC: Instrument of the Gods, Chapters 3 & 4

Hestia quickly excused herself. “My assistance is not really needed right now. I will give you some time before you must undertake your journey, Kara.”

Kara sat down, her back to a tree stump on a sloping hill of grass. “Well, you seem to know so much, Tierra, tell me how this will work.” It was difficult to keep the sarcasm from her tone.

Tierra settled next to her mother and grasped her hand. “Please don’t be so bitter. I understand why you are, but please know that I accept this fate, this destiny.”

Kara snorted. “What else do you know? What other life?” Her face and voice were hard with anger for what her daughter was required to do. “They are using us- you- to get what they want.”

“They cannot use us, if we agree.” Tierra sighed, trying to find a way to explain. “Why do you fly Vipers?”

“I don’t fly Vipers anymore,” Kara stated.

“Why DID you fly Vipers?” Tierra asked. Kara was amazed that no exasperation slipped into that calm voice.

“I am good at it.” Kara stated without thinking.

“You were good at many things, Mother.” Tierra closed her eyes. “Pyramid, I know that wasn’t an option. But I can see the poetry and art on the walls of your apartment in Delphi. You could have made a career of it. You chose not to. Why?”

Kara considered her answer. “Art- was too personal.”

“Self-serving?” Tierra questioned.

Studying Tierra’s hand in her own- as she had a thousand times studied baby Tierra’s hands looking for Lee’s long, delicate fingers, the shape of his nails- Kara reworded her answer. “Too alone. Art is great, but what could my art do to make the world better?”

“You chose Vipers and the Fleet to make a difference.” Tierra stated. “Yet you have followed orders that you didn’t like, did things that you didn’t really want to do.”

Tensing, Kara nodded. “But that was different-“

“No, Mother, it wasn’t.” Tierra held her hand up to Kara’s, comparing the twists of knuckles and nails to her own. Tierra’s hands, Kara noted, were a blend of the simple elegance of Lee’s and the blunt strength of her own. “This is all part of the same war. Your orders are now coming from a higher source.”

“What if I refuse?” Kara asked in a whisper. “What if I don’t want to go back, to leave you?”

“We can stay here,” Tierra answered. “Forever, if you choose. But my father and the others will go to Elysium faster than if you chose to go back.”

Put in those terms, Kara steeled herself. “Alright, I know I have to go back. But what about you? When will I see you again?”

“I will stay here. When you dream, we can see each other again.” Tierra smiled. “If you could learn to meditate, we could probably then, too.”

“How do you know the way to Earth?” Kara looked searchingly into her daughter’s eyes, struck again by their utter blueness.

“The knowledge was inside you, Mother,” Tierra smiled. “Buried down deep. Grandmother- her treatment of you-“

“I wish you didn’t know those things. There’s a lot I wish you didn’t know,” Kara said lowly, studying the clouds over her daughter’s shoulder.

“Knowing those things, knowing how you chose to live your life despite them,” Tierra inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. “I admire you deeply. Only a truly strong person could survive those things as intact as you did.”

Kara laughed. “As intact as I did? I was an emotional cripple! A screw-up! I-“

“ Survived, lived, found love,” Tierra cut Kara off. “The rest doesn’t matter. You understand the essence of life.”

“How did this bury the knowledge of Earth?” Kara asked quickly, to change the subject. The idea that anyone would admire her, much less a child she had wanted, astounded and disconcerted her more than this false existence of the place in-between.

“Hera can explain it better.” Tierra shrugged. “But I think it was that the knowledge was part of your birthright- and in rejecting your mother, understandable as it was, you rejected that heritage as well.”

“I could have led the Fleet to Earth at any time?” Kara asked shakily, suddenly feeling a weight on her chest, making breathing difficult.

“No,” Hera, suddenly there, interrupted. “Only when it became necessary for outside intervention to save humanity.”

“The Cylon attacks didn’t qualify?” Her breathing eased, but incredulity filled Kara’s voice as she turned to look at the goddess.

“No,” Hera stated. “Humanity still possessed the means and ability to save themselves at that point.”

“And now?” Wary, Kara wasn’t sure she wanted to know the true hopelessness of the situation.

“Maybe,” Hera acknowledged, meeting Kara’s eyes briefly before looking away. “But I am no longer willing to trust that fact. Although I will show you Earth before you are sent back, we will not provide you with a map, per say.”

“Then what’s the point?” Kara barked.

Tierra answered. “I can provide you with the steps, in order, but not the complete path. I don’t even know the complete path. I have to make sense of it- and it will take me time-“

Hera nodded. “You will lead the Fleet to Earth. But it is not a triumphal march into the promised land. It requires work, just as anything else.”

Kara decided that as long as they ended up on Earth, she was willing to do the legwork. “Okay. What’s the plan?”

**********

Leave-taking from Tierra was difficult. There were tears and hugs and emotions that Kara shoved deep down inside of her, compartmentalizing so that she could carry out her mission, just like hundreds of missions before. “I will miss you, Mother. Until we meet again on Earth.” Tierra’s smile wavered as she fought back more tears.

Kara hardened herself. “See you then, kid.” When she turned again to face Hera, she found herself- somewhere else, again. A room, in an old-style palace. Classical, like a home of the gods. “Where the frak are we now?” she asked, slightly unnerved at the quick exit and chance of scenery.

“Olympus, I suppose you would call it.” Hera raised an eyebrow. “The name serves.”

“And Olympus is where, exactly?” Kara asked, looking around.

“Neither here nor there-“ Hera began before Kara cut her off.

“Another place in-between?”

Hera frowned slightly. “Yes.”

Kara nodded, rolling her eyes. “Why are we here?”

“There is a portal that will allow us to go to Earth,” Hera indicated that Kara should follow her down a hallway. “It is similar to the one in Athena’s tomb.”

Kara nodded again, then let curiosity get the better of her. “Was Athena really a goddess?”

“Yes, Athena is a goddess. But she is not the Athena of the tomb. That Athena was-“

Kara cut her off again. “A mortal Hero?”

A distinct sound of displeasure came from Hera. “Yes.”

“So are there really gods and goddesses?” Kara prodded.

“For someone who was supposed to be quite devout, you sound heretical. Of course there are gods and goddesses.” Hera scowled. “Do you really think the world would exist without us?”

Slightly chastened, Kara allowed that no, humankind would not probably not exist.

Hera shut down the direction the conversation had begun to take with one last statement. “Now is not the time for a philosophical debate on the nature of divinity, Kara.”

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am,” Kara jokingly saluted. She seemed to have the ability to get under everyone’s skin. Gotta have a skill, she thought to herself. Her mood quickly changed as they approached a huge, arched, double width wooden doorway. It must be the portal, she thought, as the other side glowed around the outline of the door panels.

Hera pulled the door open swiftly and stepped through, expecting Kara to follow. After a moment, considering the wide vista before her, Kara stepped through as well.

She was suddenly back in a flight suit, helmet in her hand. She was stepping on a thin, almost-white sand beach, with waves of concentrated turquoise lapping at its edges. Turning around, she was immediately confronted with sheer rocky cliffs that grew into low mountains scattered with green.   Turning once more to admire the ocean, she noted dots of land far out and surmised they were small islands. Water birds called sharply to one another as they circled overhead. “It’s beautiful!” Kara breathed.

Hera nodded. “This is my favorite spot on all of Earth. Not every place here is so beautiful.”

“What is the rest like?” Kara couldn’t help but ask.

“It is very much like Caprica and the other colonies. Some areas are urban, some rural; some barren, some blessed with many resources.” Hera smiled. “I believe that you will mesh well with these people, aside from religion.”

“Aside from religion?” Kara questioned.

“They no longer worship we Olympians here. We are an archaic past,” Hera admitted sadly. “But as a whole, they are very tolerant of different religions. Most Earth religions, however, tend to be monotheistic.”

“Minor problem,” Kara shrugged it off. Survival outweighed religion in her mind right now. “Can I see more of the planet?”

“I think that it would be better if you returned to the Fleet now.” Hera drew herself up and waved a hand aimed behind Kara. “You will have years to explore the planet once the Fleet arrives.”

Turning, Kara saw a pristine, shiny Viper with her call-sign on the nameplate. It was longer than current ones, shorter than the Mark IIs; the weaponry looked similar, but sleeker. “Nice bird,” she commented.

“Consider it a gift to the Fleet,” Hera replied. “I would leave the atmosphere directly, when you launch. Earth has defensive forces that might waylay you longer than you want to be held up.”

Kara nodded, feeling much like herself. “Flight plan, oh, queen of the gods?”

“Head out past the large gas giant in the system; once there, consult your computer. Jump coordinates are in there.”

“Jump coordinates? Vipers don’t have FTL-“ Kara looked worried.

“I’ve upgraded the wreck you brought with you.” Hera smiled- wide and hopeful. “Good luck, Kara Thrace.”

And then she was gone.

Kara found herself suddenly dropped into the middle of a battle. There were Cylons everywhere, more than she remembered seeing together in one place since the initial attacks, and none of the Fleet’s ships were jumping. “What the frak is going on?” she muttered to herself. Trust the capriciousness of the gods to drop her into the middle of a mess.  Not sure how to contact the Galactica, and not sure how they would react, she decided her best bet was the jump right in and starting killing toasters.

Keeping an ear on the comm chatter as she chose a target to sight, she heard Apollo’s voice. “I'm in Viper three, I have a bogey at my ten, I'm gonna go check it out.”  Her stomach did a girly flip-flop at the sound. Shoving the feeling down, she searched quickly for him. To check out who was his wingman, she told herself.

He didn’t have one. What the frak was he doing, flying into battle solo? Did he have a death wish? She made the judgement call in an instant, cutting thrusters and turning to pass directly over him and into position on his left wing, just as she had so many times before.

 “Where'd he go, where the frak did you go?” Apollo was muttering, twisting this way and that to get a bead on his bogey. Her pass above him distracted him for a moment. “Whoa, what the frak!”

Kara Thrace, as if she hadn’t exploded in front of his eyes three months ago, smiled in relief at getting to see him again in this lifetime.  “Hi, Lee.”

“Kara!?” he asked, confusion, alarm, and sheer astonishment chasing across his face.

Laughing, Kara admonished him. “Don't freak out, it really is me.” Skipping the long version to save for debrief, she went short and sweet, to get both their heads back into the game and come home alive. “It's gonna be okay. I've been to Earth. I know where it is. And I'm gonna take us there.”

Kara didn’t wait for Lee to fully recover. There was no time for that, in the heat of battle. “I feel like I’m a little late to the party, Apollo. Fill me in.”

“Are you real, Kara? Or am I dead?” Lee asked, hardly taking his eyes off of her. “I watched you die…” He trailed off, and Kara sensed a break down on the way.

“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. I’ll fill you in after we kick some Cylon ass.” She waited a second, then prodded again. After all, she had needed to adjust to the fact that she was not dead, too. “Sitrep?”

It took a couple of tries before Lee could speak. “We need to buy the fleet extended time to jump.”

Kara almost sighed. “How extended?”

The Colonial officer in Lee finally gained control. “How do I know you’re not a Cylon?”

Now Kara really did sigh. “Even if I was, I’m on your side for this one. You can ask Athena when we’re through, okay?”

She saw Lee’s mental calculation, the war between what he wanted and what he thought he knew. “Twenty minutes. Eighteen, now.”

“Frak,” she cursed. “Let’s get to it.”

An extra Viper, with Kara’s idents, did not go unnoticed by CIC for long, even amidst a battle. The Admiral’s gravely voice cut through the air, interrupting Kara’s concentration. “Lee, what the frak are you doing out there? And who the hell is flying with you?”

Kara raised an eyebrow at the Admiral’s words, then answered for Lee. “We killing some frakkin’ Cylons, sir, and then bringing home the cat.”

His astonishment was obvious. “Kara? Is that you?”

With a laugh of relief- glad to be home, even in the middle of this shit- Kara answered with a suppressed smile. “Yes, sir.”

The moment of silence when he didn’t speak again immediately was telling. It brought tears to Kara’s eyes. “Sir? Permission to blow some toasters out of the sky?”

She heard him clear his throat and swallow. “Weapons free, Starbuck. Then bring my son home.”

“Yes, sir!”

****************
On the down side, the fleet lost a civilian freighter, a passenger ship, a Raptor, and three Vipers. Not bad, considering the disaster that could have occurred.

On the upside, the legend of Starbuck and Apollo lived again. Lee and Kara flew together as if they had been created to do just that, executing textbook manuevers with precision and scary, heart-stopping feats of skill equally well. They accounted for the majority of kills in the battle, just the two of them.

The real test of Kara’s new found sense of purpose, however, came with landing. She was not surprised to find her Viper stairs guarded by a contingent of marines, nor was she surprised to see Lee push them aside to try and get to her canopy to rip it open. She wasn’t even surprised (and didn’t fight) being shackled like a Cylon and led to the Cylon holding cell.

What she was surprised by was the brush off Apollo gave Dee on the flight deck when, dutiful wife that she was, Dee greeted him upon his return. As her arms encircled him, he had carefully removed them and held her at arms’ length. Shaking his head, he said something low in her ear, and gave Dee his back as he followed Kara and her contingent out.

Some things seemed to have changed during Kara’s stay in the space between.

**********

Some things did not change. Doc Cottle was the first to visit Kara in her cell, assigned to confirm her identity or Cylon-ness. His manner was as abrupt and brusque as ever. “Where you been keeping yourself, Thrace?” he asked conversationally as he drew some blood.

“Oh, here and there,” Kara evaded. She did not want to tell her story to anyone but the Admiral and Lee; and the Admiral would be left ignorant of his grandchild, for now, she had already decided.

“Seen a doctor while you were gone?” Cottle asked as he drew another vial.

“Sort of.” Kara evaded again.

Cottle finished up and lit a cigarette. “Still pregnant?” he asked.

“No.” Kara answered.

“Probably for the best,” Cottle stated after a heartbeat of silence. “Any injuries during your death?”

“I wasn’t dead,” Kara stated though gritted teeth. Cottle’s bedside manner got under her skin at the best of times, and this most certainly wasn’t one of them. “I was- somewhere else.”

“A resurrection ship?” Cottle held the cigarette between his lips, blowing smoke into her face as he spoke and held a stethoscope to her chest.

“Frak you,” Kara ground out, restraining herself. Her time in-between hadn’t mellowed her as much as she had thought it had.

“Based on attitude alone,” Cottle inhaled deeply on the cigarette, “I’d say you are who we think you are.”

“Again, frak you,” Kara said with a Starbuck smirk.

“I have to run more tests, of course. Xrays, etc. Any injuries I don’t know about?” Cottle scribbled something on her chart.

“No,” Kara stated flatly, wondering how long it would be before the Admiral or Lee showed up.

“Had some cosmetic surgery while you were gone, Thrace?” Cottle asked as he continued his physical exam.

Frowning, Kara shook her head. “Little busy for that sort of thing, even if I were the type. What the frak are you talking about, Doc?”

Cottle peeled back her flight suit a bit and held her left arm up for her to see. “You don’t remember having that tattoo removed?”

Astounded, Kara sent a mental thank you to Hera, Hestia, and whatever other god had decided to erase the evidence of her misbegotten marriage to Sam Anders. “I was out of it for a while,” she stalled.

Cottle made a note of that, too.

***************

Hours later, tests run and re-run, Cottle sat in his office in Life Station with both the Admiral and Lee facing him. “All tests that I have run are consistent with Thrace’s records. With the exception of one.”

“So it’s Kara?” Lee asked, leaning forward in his seat. Even Cottle could read the hope in his eyes.

“There’s also one physical difference that she can’t- or doesn’t want to- account for.” Cottle waited to be asked; patient-doctor privilege was a luxury of civilians and peace-time, but he was still reluctant to violate it in this case.

The Admiral, no less hopeful than Lee but better able to hide it, asked. “What test was different, and what is the physical difference?”

Cottle inhale and blew smoke. “She’s missing the large tattoo on her left arm, and there are no scars or irritation, as would be expected at the quick removal of something that size. She didn’t even realize it was gone until I pointed it out. All other tattoos and distinguishing marks are still in place and unchanged.”

Lee tensed at the mention of the marriage tattoo. Cottle wondered what his reaction would be to the test news. “And?” The Admiral prodded.

“Thrace was pregnant at the time of her disappearance. She no longer is.” Cottle left it out there, and sat back, waiting for reaction.

Lee took a shuddering breath, his eyes closed. Cottle was not going to tell Lee that he was the father, but it seemed that Ad,miral had already figured it out on his own. “Did she explain that?” the Admiral asked after a moment, laying his hand on Lee’s arm. The Admiral was not oblivious to what went on on his ship.

“No. But she was actively seeking- an alternative- when I last saw her.” Cottle stubbed out the cigarette carefully, preserving the unsmoked end for later.

“She was going to terminate?” Lee asked tensely.

“Legally, I could not help with that,” Cottle stated, rising.

“But you didn’t immediately report the pregnancy-“ Lee’s voice rose as he did. “You should have revoked her flight status immediately!”

Cottle came around his desk and stood toe to toe with the angry younger Adama. “She was only a month or so along; she was given a month to tell the father and report it herself. Her request. In my judgement, the medical threat to the baby was outweighed by the need to have Starbuck in the cockpit during time of war.”

“That should have been the CAG’s decision,” the Admiral stated. “Protocol.”

Cottle sighed. He knew the admiral had it figured out; Lee was a little more dense. He had avoided stating the obvious for as long as he could. Side stepping Lee, he walked to his office door and turned to face both men. “There were mitigating circumstances that might have called in to question the CAG’s ability to make a reasoned decision.”

“Are you trying to say that my friendship with Starbuck would color my judgement?” Lee barked, getting red in the face.

“He’s trying to tell you, Lee,” the Admiral sighed, “that you were the father.”

“The truly odd thing, gentlemen, is that physical exam, blood-work, and x-rays indicate that she gave birth while she was—away.” Cottle gave Lee a measured look, a nod to the Admiral, and was gone, leaving the Adama men to sort it out amongst themselves.